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1. |
Fear, Pt. 1
04:25
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I'm afraid
To wear a dress in public,
To let people know,
To let people see,
The female parts of me.
I'm afraid.
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2. |
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My mother tried to kill herself when I was young. The last time I spoke to her in person she told me, "If you want to kill yourself so bad, then just do it."
My father killed himself on Halloween in 2014. I hadn't spoken to him in ten years.
(My brother told me I should have killed myself a long time ago.)
The last time I tried to kill myself was March of 2015. I overdosed on Lithium and Seroquel and went for a walk. I hoped I'd be dead before anyone could find me but I was wrong. I don't think I'm done trying to kill myself.
I lie to the doctors when they ask if I have thoughts of hurting other people: I do every day.
I lie to the doctors when they ask if I see or hear anything that no one else does: I do every day.
I have lightening and lava in my brain. There are other people living inside my brain. Sometimes they have more control over this body than I do. I don't even know which personality 'I' am, or if 'I' am even real.
I'm afraid that my daughter will grow up and have a diseased brain like me. I'm afraid I have no future. I'm afraid I'll fail.
I am afraid of everything around me because I don't know what is real and what isn't.
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3. |
F.Y.R.F.
08:44
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Fuck your rapist friends.
Fuck your apologist friends.
Fuck Ryan Connolly:
If you come near us again
You'll get fucking knifed too.
You deserve to have your name
Sliced into your throat
And your name is rapist.
Until then you have
Blooded magick coming for you.
You all have it coming for you.
You all deserve the worst.
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The Shakhbûrz Files Colorado Springs, Colorado
This is a collection of noise and other sounds from Dakota Snaketail.
(Shakhbûrz is Black Speech for 'Dark Lord'.)
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